We here at Turner Security are pleased to announce the creation of a new line of security technology: camping security systems! We have revolutionized the camping experience, bringing together years of research and field experience to create the tools necessary for a safe and secure camping experience.
First, we have to check out the BEAR ALARM. Basically, just a bunch of empty cans that are strewn about the campsite. As the bear comes in for the kill…CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH! Alerted! It is now up to you to fight off the bear, but that’s probably the easy part anyway.
Next, the raccoon snatcher will SNATCH those raccoons before they are able to snatch your crap! As the name implies, we have a professional snatcher* who blends right in and can stop those beady-eyed bandits in their tracks. You can rest assured that when you wake up your piles of camp-trash will be right where you left them!
* “Professional” means whoever we can convince to wear this raccoon costume for minimum wage
Finally, we have the mosquito deterrent. While not *technically* a security threat, mosquitoes are just the worst. Have this bad boy at your side and when you start seeing/hearing/imagining mosquitoes swarming in to suck your precious blood let loose a hail of bullets and you’re sure to scare them away.
So there you have it! Hit us up on the contact page and we can talk about our affordable pricing packages!