A question we get asked a lot is “Who can see the video from the security cameras installed in my house?” An excellent question. Of course, we’re going to have to start by telling you that your information is kept save with keep-China-out level encryption and blah blah blah, but the truth is we see some pretty hilarious stuff that you guys are doing. The big TV in the break room here has a feed from hundreds of different security cameras installed in various people’s houses and we have seen some crazy stuff. Like the guy who did the entire Footloose dance wearing his underwear in his kitchen! Or the lady who literally covered her dog in nutella and then watched him lick it off! Seriously, good stuff. So don’t worry, we are constantly vigilant and making sure that nothing bad happens to your house. We’ll definitely call the cops if anything actually *bad* is going on, and, in the meantime, we’ll get to see all the weird stuff you do when you think no one is looking!
Category: Uncategorized
How to make friends
Don’t have any friends? Sad! Well, if it makes you feel better, very few people do. Sure, most people you meet may have others that they go out to lunch with, share clothes with, and buy expensive property rentals with, but let’s be honest. Deep down, those people don’t even like each other. So, why do you want to make friends? Chances are, you should just continue living life the way you’ve been doing it all this time. Besides, it’s hard to get off the couch, so probably not worth it. Back to binge-watching…
A secure life
What does it mean to be secure? I don’t mean in the “I’m secure in my womanhood” kind of secure, but more the “Ain’t nobody gonna break in here and take my stuff!” kind of secure. Money. That’s all it takes. You give us your money, we make you secure. Except, of course, in your womanhood. That’s on you. Own it!